January 2019 - Tanya Lex

2-way street

Being considerate towards each other, this approach is suitable not only for finding your way in the traffic but also in finding your own way in the job market.

The official “Highway Code” issued by the Department for Transport says: “It is important that all road users are aware of the Code and are considerate towards each other. This applies to pedestrians as much as to drivers and riders.”. Being considerate towards each other and do not forget that you’re not the only road user, the other users also exist and they must be respected and treated equally!

Good words, very wise ones. It’s clear this approach is suitable not only for finding your way in the traffic but also in finding your own way in the job market.

Somehow it turns out a lot of employers do not have any understanding of these rules, or maybe they just did not read the “Highway Code”?

A very standard job description (thousands of which are now published at the job searching sites) points out and underlines the only thing: that’s the company who makes a choice. It’s emphasized by all means: they are searching for exactly this type of person; they set the deadlines and the date of assessment which requires a certain number of applicants. Which sounds really strange – even if you totally fit in this job, they will not take you without making a contest. Ha! Competition is a crucial point, you don’t have to be just good or excellent, you have to fight and compete, and only when you win, you’re good enough. Very spoilt logic in my opinion.

They politely inform you that if they are interested in you, they will contact you, and say directly that if you were not contacted within a certain period of time – that’s because they did not see any interest in you. Alright. Sounds quite fair but for one exception. Just very few of them remember about the candidate and his interests. Strange? Yes, indeed!

Slavery was abolished a long time ago, we live now in the age of individual freedom, free and open market, and personal awareness. The company search for right people, the right people search for right companies. That’s how it works ideally – a two-way street functioning on the base of the official “Highway Code” and the respect towards each other. Ideal does not always mean real. And very often the second party of this contract is unfairly forgotten, sometimes even not mentioned. What does this job-seeker want? What exactly does he/she expect? What is he/she searching for?

Instead of carrying on fair negotiations with the candidates, the company chooses a strange way – to make them feel in need. Sometimes even worse – they make them feel low and insignificant. They are offered to make tons of tests and tasks, to imitate a real situation, to sell something/to buy something, to speak/sing/dance, God only knows what else, and finally to prove they are good enough for this place. And then, for a dessert – my favourite one! “Mmh, why should we choose you?” Pause. Applause.

Good when it goes as a dessert, very often this question is asked after 5-10 minutes talk, after the poor candidate had been investigated about his previous work experience and professional strengths. He-l-l-o-o-o! For that exact moment the candidate did not ask you to take them! They didn’t even have the chance to put in their questions: what about the company, about its strengths and weaknesses, about the salary and conditions?

The candidate is selling him/herself, right, but the price must be negotiated, don’t you think so? Otherwise, it’s not a two-way street, it’s the backyard of your house, where you govern and reign with the caveat, that your backyard is very limited. It’s limited by your own fence and the proprietary rights. And the real life is running behind this fence, that’s where the two-way streets exist, where both pedestrians and drivers are considerate towards each other. And where they all do respect the official “Highway Code”.

Terminator for 7 pounds an hour

The last month was the month of “indeed” – almost every day I was exploring a job searching platform in the hope of finding something valuable. Something that makes me interested and excited.

In 95% the future employers do not know exactly who they’re searching for and they look for a person totally opposite to an “ideal candidate”.

I read hundreds of announcements where the future employers were looking for the potential parts of their teams. And one fact surprised me: in 95% the future employers do not know exactly who they’re searching for and they look for a person totally opposite to an “ideal candidate” described in their opus.

Here is the description of this ideal employee, a kind of a Terminator, who has so much advantages that a normal standard person would be ashamed even to stay in his shadow:

a perfect team-player and at the same time able to work independently
capable of taking decisions and dealing with the responsibility
proactive and energetic
multi-tasking
ready to meet new challenges every day (! EVERY day)
able to work under pressure
excellent communicator
perfect organizational and interpersonal skills
sense of humour
understanding of customer service and thousands of other tasks and duties.

Hello, guys? Who is this Mr/Mrs Right? Does he/she even exist?

The paradox is that for any innocent job-seeker this great description looks like the role profile of some middle-rank manager or at least senior specialist/head of a small department. Would be fair enough if it was so. Unfortunately, guys, these are the critical skills of an ordinary secretary/administrative assistant in an ordinary firm with a very ordinary budget.

Surprised? Me to 🙂 What surprises most of all is the innocence and inexperience of the employers mentioned above. Do they really know whom exactly they need? Or it’s just copy-paste without taking a thought?

I am not saying that these abilities are rare, unique and do not exist. They do. The point is that there is a contradiction here:

or you need a professional secretary who has very strong administrative skills. This position also means the person is a 100% executor. Which is also good, because a good executor is a treasure.
or you need a manager, a person who thinks independently and proactively, who can take decisions, risks and react quickly, who can manage the staff and take the responsibility. This person is another type of employee. He has something from an entrepreneur, a leader and doing routine administrative work is not his strength, he is just another type of person.

Is not that clear? You can not buy 2 for the price of 1! An excellent executor is as good as gold. So is an excellent manager. And if they’re excellent they know their price, they value their time and efforts and they don’t want to be a Terminator. They’re just not into this.

We reap what we sow. Choose carefully what you nourish.

All the troubles and difficulties, that I faced after starting a new phase of my life (moving to another country and getting married), made me think about myself and my personality. As I mentioned before, at the first moment I found myself crushed and exhausted. And then I started to think – am I really the person that I believe I am? If some of my principles and beliefs could be smashed and stretched so easily, do I really possess them?

Now I think this moment of uncertainty was inevitable. I had to recollect all my thoughts and beliefs to sort them out and choose the right ones that form my main core. A kind of a natural selection. And after that, take care of them, nourish and cherish like the most precious treasures of all the times. As those were the ones that could help me to overcome the crisis and to become a real me, more complete and solid.

But the question of why my principles had been in danger, was constantly bothering me. And one day I realized that they had almost crashed down under the pressure of fast moving events and changes because some of them had not been placed deep inside. They were sown at the very first, superficial level, and that was not deep enough for them to grow. It’s like in this movie with DiCaprio called “Inception”, where the guys needed to go to the 3rd level of dream to implement the idea. The first and the second levels were not enough to accomplish the task.

The same thing happened to me – I planted some seeds at the first level and decided they could grow, put down the roots and I even could reap a harvest. Overconfident me! Now I know for sure, that I need to cherish my baby-plants for years until they become strong, confident and mature enough to put down the roots and grow into small trees. And later on, after some more years of taking care and protecting them from wind, sun and frost, I could find the grown-up trees in my garden and hopefully gather the harvest.

That would mean my principles became so strong and firm that they could stand the test of time and rough weather. They could support me in good and bad times and be my guiding star in this journey called “LIFE”.

Making a difference

I want to do the things that I like doing. I want to be satisfied with the results of my activity and achieve something. And it must bring me pleasure. That’s what makes a difference!

Yesterday I was communicating to a person concerning my possible work for a certain organization. The discussion was going quite ok, although some points bothered me a little.

But when I woke up in the night, I suddenly realized – I just don’t want to do this exact job. I mean it’s fine, quite ok, close to what I did before maybe too simple comparing to what I had achieved. But that’s not the point.

I was thinking about the company who gives this job – they are doing what they are doing for some reasons. They find this useful, maybe the impact that their activity brings is crucial or they just earn money as they can and like it. In any case they do it for some purpose. They make a difference.

But why was I going to fit in this? What kind of difference am I supposed to make if I personally don’t find anything special for me in this job: it does not feel like a big challenge, it’s unlikely that I will learn something new and I am not going to earn money there (must admit I really like earning money and investing it for doing something good. That’s one of my peculiarities.). So why do I want to do this? Actually I do not. It does not feel good for me. Starting to invest my time and my efforts in this makes totally no sense for me.

If I do this because it’s quite a good start for an immigrant, right way to launch my future career here or the normal 1st job at a new place, that will be a big mistake. That feels in the same way as to marry a guy who is fine, quite ok, maybe nice and has a good potential but whom I don’t like, don’t love! The same bullshit.

I want to do the things that I like doing. I want to be satisfied with the results of my activity and achieve something. And it must bring me pleasure. This point is critical: this job must bring me good emotions, satisfaction, motivation and PLEASURE. That’s what makes a difference!

The darkest time is just before the dawn.

darkest time before dawn — They say the darkest time is just before the dawn. I believe that’s true.

If you can not find the truth within yourself, where else do you expect to find it?

Dogen, a Japanese philosopher

They say when you move somewhere, you always take yourself with you. Now I really feel what it means. Sometimes you even need to move somewhere far away to face yourself and have a chance to know yourself better. That’s a journey that must be travelled, no matter how difficult and challenging it is. That’s the way to find the truth. Your truth.

I have been living independently since I was 16, quite a tender age indeed. Starting with this age I had been facing the situations when I had to make my own choices and afterwards to deal with the consequences taking the responsibility of my own decisions. To be honest, sometimes when I look back, I would prefer to avoid some of these decisions and consequences. But when I ask myself, if I would made it differently, the answer is “no” always. I believe this experience made me who I am, built some crucial parts of me and made them stronger. Although the same experience made me weaker in a certain way, which is sad, but probably inevitable.

Even though I was a very independent woman who always preferred to choose her own way and had enough strength to follow it, when at the age of 34 I moved to another country, my world crashed for a while. I had to face hundreds of questions and to find the answers, that seemed to have been found quite a long time ago. I thought I was ready for that, but the life taught me an important lesson. You never know if you are ready for something or not until you start doing this. You can feel over-prepared and ready to go, you can have lots of theoretical knowledge and build a safety net, and I must say – you need to do all of this. The problem is, you never know where exactly it could go until you make the first step.

And so it happened to me: my outer world crashed for a while, and my inner world started falling too. I felt crushed and exhausted. I was certain my inner world had been built strong enough to withstand that attack. After some time I even started to doubt I was the person, that I believed I had been, and I could bear all this. That was a tough time.

And one day I realized (not without help of my beloved ones) – that was the moment when I had met myself. A real me, with all my worries, fears and imperfections. That moment became a relief.

They say the darkest time is just before the dawn. Thanks to God, my dawn came and the things got better. I am not sure whether I’ve found the whole truth yet, but I am definitely sure I am on the right way, and I will face it one day.