All the troubles and difficulties, that I faced after starting a new phase of my life (moving to another country and getting married), made me think about myself and my personality. As I mentioned before, at the first moment I found myself crushed and exhausted. And then I started to think – am I really the person that I believe I am? If some of my principles and beliefs could be smashed and stretched so easily, do I really possess them?
Now I think this moment of uncertainty was inevitable. I had to recollect all my thoughts and beliefs to sort them out and choose the right ones that form my main core. A kind of a natural selection. And after that, take care of them, nourish and cherish like the most precious treasures of all the times. As those were the ones that could help me to overcome the crisis and to become a real me, more complete and solid.
But the question of why my principles had been in danger, was constantly bothering me. And one day I realized that they had almost crashed down under the pressure of fast moving events and changes because some of them had not been placed deep inside. They were sown at the very first, superficial level, and that was not deep enough for them to grow. It’s like in this movie with DiCaprio called “Inception”, where the guys needed to go to the 3rd level of dream to implement the idea. The first and the second levels were not enough to accomplish the task.
The same thing happened to me – I planted some seeds at the first level and decided they could grow, put down the roots and I even could reap a harvest. Overconfident me! Now I know for sure, that I need to cherish my baby-plants for years until they become strong, confident and mature enough to put down the roots and grow into small trees. And later on, after some more years of taking care and protecting them from wind, sun and frost, I could find the grown-up trees in my garden and hopefully gather the harvest.
That would mean my principles became so strong and firm that they could stand the test of time and rough weather. They could support me in good and bad times and be my guiding star in this journey called “LIFE”.