Dale Carnegie said that “You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Well, I believe he was totally right. In a certain way.
Me personally, I would add here another critical point: you can make real friends only by becoming genuinely interested in yourself. Paradox? A kind of.
I am not speaking about becoming selfish and egotistic. My point is totally different.
I mean that you can not build any stable and long relationship without being interested in yourself and knowing exactly who you are and what you want. That’s the ground zero for everything. You, your thoughts, your opinions, your principles and your desires start everything and make you being real, an individual who differs from others. Everyone who begins any relationship with you (friendship or another one) must know whom they are dealing with. Otherwise it would be a kind of a “blind date” for both of you, and, as almost all blind dates, it won’t bring any good results and good experiences.
Acting blindfolded will mean each of you will deal with a total stranger: your friend does not know who you are, you – do not know who you are too. The scheme 1+1+1=2? does not look very inspiring, indeed.
If your “friend” does not know him/herself well, this scheme will be even more rotted. This relationship can be shown as 1+1+1+1=2? where several different people act independently and unconsciously trying to make 2 of 4.
So, start with yourself. The journey to friendship, confidence and loyalty begins with you and your self-understanding. No one says this journey will be quick and easy but unfortunately it’s the only way to build something valuable and stable.